The unpaid work of Men

Vaastav Foundation” (NGO Fighting for Men’s Rights, Dignity and Honor), had conducted an online survey during the first week of March 2021 under the theme – “Let’s Talk About The Positive Role Of Men, On International Women’s Day And Every Day” for steering a positive debate and discussion on “Recognising and Quantifying Matrimonial Monetary, Unpaid Labor and Non-Monetary Contributions of #MenToo.

We are happy to publish the outcome of the survey on Vaastav Foundation website.
Here is the link for the Preliminary Report…….

A Preliminary Report On

Recognizing and Quantifying Matrimonial Monetary, Unpaid Labor and Non-Monetary Contributions of #MenToo

(Let’s Talk About The Positive Role Of Men, On International Women’s Day And Every Day)

By

Dr. Mithun Kherde, Vaastav Foundation

I. Background and Context: The roles  played  by the men and women in the family and society that were assumed previously to be complementary are now being pitched as against each other in the debate of gender equality, rights and partnerships. There have been various strange demands put  forth by the women centrist organizations and individuals from time to time. It’s not that all of their demands are taken seriously, but one such demand is gaining traction. The demand is to pay for the household work done by a “house-wife”. Interestingly, this demand is based on several myths such as:

    1. Only wife undertake the household work and husband don’t
    2. Household work by wife is her exploitation
    3. Wife needs to be paid monetarily for the household work she undertakes

II. Rationale for the study: The demand made for paying ‘housewife’ for the household work based on above assumptions commits four grave mistakes:

    1. Maintains complete silence on the Unpaid work and several non monetary contributions by Husband
    2. Ignores the liberty of wife to choose between household and outside work against the total lack of such liberty for #MenToo
    3. Pushes under the carpet the legitimate discussion on free services received by the wife and need to pay for them
    4. Strikes one more nail forward towards economic exploitation of men in the schema of gender(ed) equality

While pitching for the ‘woman’s right’ to claim returns from household work and giving it a legal, political and legislative spin, as usual, a pin drop silence is being maintained on

recognizing, capturing, measuring and quantifying the Monetary and Non-monetary contributions  of Men in household work, child care and other roles which husband/ men play in the family, social, political, national and international circles. There is a need for breaking the myths and awakening the masses so that the legislatures make no more mistakes rather makes informed decision in the realisation of true equality without any discrimination among the sexes. Therefore, Vaastav Foundation (NGO Fighting for Men’s Rights, Dignity and Honor), decided to conduct a survey under the theme – “Let’s Talk About The Positive Role Of Men, On International Women’s Day And Every Day”.

III. Aim and Objectives: Breaking the stereotypical notional myths around ‘housewife’ and ‘household/  unpaid  labour’.  Steering  a  positive  debate  and  discussion  on  “Recognizing  and Quantifying Matrimonial Monetary, Unpaid Labor and Non-Monetary Contributions of #MenToo”.

IV. Methodology: Questionnaire was created using “Google Forms” to collect the primary data for the study. The survey questionnaire link was posted on facebook and twitter. Data was collected in online mode between 1st March 2021 till 7th March 2021. Participation was requested from men who have “ever been married” or “ever been fathers”. Google spreadsheet was generated from the responses received through online from. The report was prepared based on the data received from the online survey, studies on Men’s contribution, laws on equitable distribution of monetary and non-monetary contributions in divorce matters.

IV. Ethical Considerations: The link was shared online. The introductory part of the survey questionnaire explained to the potential respondent, the context, background and the objectives of the study. The entire questionnaire was visible to the respondent and the respondent were free to participate or not to participate in the survey. The e-mail id of the respondent was asked to enter in the beginning of the questionnaire to avoid duplication of submission. The submit button was enabled at the end of the survey questionnaire. The respondents were free to withdraw anytime in between the survey. as submission of the completely filled questionnaire was only taken as consent for participation. The e-mail ids of the respondents were deleted before beginning the analysis and complete anonymity was maintained.

VI. Findings: The survey recruited a total 368 participants.

Figure 1: Sex of Participants

Age Distribution: Minimum age reported of the participants was 22 years and maximum was 68 years with mean age reported to be 38 years.

Figure 2: Age Distribution of Participants

Marital status: From among the participants, 41.0% of the respondents were married, 47.8% were separated, 10.3% were divorced and 0.9% were widower.

Figure 3: Marital Status of Participants

Years of Matrimonial Life: About 38.0% of the respondents had lead matrimonial life between1 to 5 years followed by 25.8% who had been married for less than 1 years, 17.4% were in matrimonial life for 5 to 10 years and 18.8% had been in matrimonial life for more than 10 years.

Distribution of children: 41.8% of the respondents had reported having been father to no child, 42.7% respondents reported to have been father to 1 child, 14.4% had been father of two children and 1.1% had been father to more than 2 children.

Figure 5: No. of Children of Participants

Unpaid work by one spouse: Against the stereotypical notional myth widely spread in the society, from among the participants in the current survey, 81.0% said, they did not believe that the unpaid household work is done only by one spouse. 13.3% have ‘never thought about it’ and merely 5.7% believed in the stereotypical household involvement of one spouse only.

Figure 6: Age Distribution of Participants

Monetary compensation and net payment: Against the unilateral demand rising from the women organisations for housewife alone, in the current survey, 45.1% respondents said, both the spouses should calculate the monetary compensation for the household work they undertake and the net amount be paid to the other. 32.3% disagreed and 22.6% were such that they have ‘never thought about it’.

Figure 7: Monetary Compensation for Spouse’s Household Work

Monetary contributions by men as husband/ father:

Table 1: Monetary Contribution by Men in Matrimonial Life

Man hours spent in paid work: From among the participants a majority i.e. 74.4% spent more than 5 hours daily at paid work, 21.7% were such that they spent 1 to 5 hours at paid work. Among them 21.7% did paid work for more than 10 hours for their family.

Unpaid and Non-monetary contributions by men

Table 2: Non-Monetary Contribution by Men in Matrimonial Life

Man hours spent in unpaid household work: From among the participants a majority i.e. 74.5% spent between 1 to 5 hours daily at non-monetary household activities, 14.4% were such that they spent 6 to 10 hours at unpaid household work. Among them 10.8% did unpaid household work for more than 10 hours daily.

Other monetary/ non-monetary contributions by men as listed by the respondents are:

Please see Table 3 in Annexure

Husband/ father’s participation in household work: Against the prevalent myth in the society, 93.2% of the respondents in this survey refused to believe that husbands/ fathers don’t participate in household work and only 6.8% held the stereotypical notion about non participation of men in household work.

Figure 8: Husband/ Father’s Participation in Household Work

Liberty to refuse household work: Unlike women, who have liberty to choose between household work and external work, 89.7% of the participants of this study believe that Indian husbands/ fathers have no liberty to refuse doing household work and only work outside home.

Figure 9: Husband/ Father’s Liberty to Refuse Household Work

Wife enjoys without paying: About 84.5% of the participants believe that ‘wife enjoys monetary and non-monetary services/ facilities/ benefits performed by men at the matrimonial household without paying for them.

Figure 10: Wife Enjoys Without Paying at the Matrimonial House

Husband to be reimbursed: About 77.2% respondents believe that when a husband is managing the  monetary and non-monetary contributions for the family, he should be reimbursed for the 50% amount by the wife.

Figure 11: Husband to be Reimbursed

VII. Quantification and legal consideration of monetary, non-monetary  matrimonial contributions of #MenToo: When we talk about gender equality in marriages and divorce, 91.8% respondents believe that maintenance, alimony, child custody laws should quantify and take into consideration the monetary and non-monetary contributions of #MenToo.

Figure 12: Quantification of Matrimonial Contributions of #MenToo

VIII. Discussion and Conclusion

Men have been burdened upon from ages without giving them any scope for expecting returns from these:

  1. Food:

a. Financial contribution: Cost of Grocery, LPG Cylinder, Vegetables, Fruits, etc. is borne by the husband. Transportation cost for each of the items is taken care of by him. Refrigeration, preservation cost is borne by husband through investment on refrigerator and preservatives.

b. Non-monetary contribution: Most of the time, it is he who takes it to contribute for the transportation utilizing his own physical strength. Washing of vegetables, fruits, cutting, chopping, preparation for cooking, cooking, etc.

2. Clothing:

a. Financial  contribution:  The  clothes  if ready made/ stitched at a tailor shop – cost of purchase and stitching is borne by husband. If the clothes are stitched at home – the cost of sewing machine, raw material like cloth piece, buttons, hooks, needles, threads, etc. is borne by the husband. The transportation cost involved in it is also borne by him. For the maintenance of these clothes if washing is being undertaken by the wife – the responsibility is taken up by the husband of purchasing the washing machine or items listed below.

b. Non-monetary contribution: Washing machine, washing soda, brush, soap, water, bucket, mug, even the stone against which the clothes are being hammered, have to be transported by the husband.

3. Shelter:

a. Financial  contribution:  The  house  rent/cost  –  Down  Payment,  EMI;  electricity  bill,  water  bill, house tax, property tax, maintenance, etc. is borne by the husband.

b. Non-monetary contribution: The husband acts as driver, plumber, electrician, toilet cleaner, roof cleaner, cob-web cleaner, etc. and charge is not paid by the wife.

4. Opportunity  cost foregone/ Sacrifices that husband makes for the family: While constantly

trying to fulfill the desires of the family, the men sacrifice their educational aspirations, career desire, hobbies, interests and needs. How can these unpaid sacrifices be ever quantified in terms of money?

5. Companion, Security Guard, Protector: Historically, men have been nurtured with these values before going to war, entering a burning building, and exiting a sinking ship. Even in these changing times, the man of the house is therefore the most dedicated protector of the family, his dedication would be more than the world’s best security commando. We have umpteen examples of men putting their life, well being and everything at risk for their family. The cost for this cannot even be calculated.

6. Fallback  option  for  wife  and  children: The presence of a husband/ father in the family acts as a self confidence enhancer of having a fallback option.

7. The husband/ father provides emotional support for the wife/ children.

8. The husband/ father pays for gifts (positive enforcements) he gives to the wife.

9. The presence of the father also acts as a deterrent (negative reinforcement) for preventing the child from adopting a mis-directed path.

10. The tours, travels and family trips with the wife are sponsored by the husband.

11. The bills of medical expenses for the wife are borne by the husband and also the premium of the medical and other insurance for the wife are paid by the husband.

12. The days when the wife goes for eating out for a change or even for celebrating some event the husband has financed it.

13. The electricity, mobile, internet, telephone, television subscription and other utilities debit to the account of the husband.

14. The charges of entertainment magazines, OTT subscriptions, shows, movies enjoyed by the wife are also billed to the poor husband.

15. The husband has to bear the cost of furniture and goods in the house right from the vacuum cleaner to the bed, wardrobe, fans and ACs.

16. The sunk cost of beautification of the wife’s face and wardrobe are by default assumed to be the responsibility of the husband.

17. If the wife is not interested in doing household work, the husband has to employ maids and cooks and slog extra hours to pay them so that his lazy wife can laze around.

18. When the wife delivers the child a nanny is employed by the husband to look after the infant.

19. In case the wife does the household work. The husband loses that service after a divorce but does not get compensated to employing a maid for continuing those services.

20. The average of a man’s life span is lower than that of women as men have to burden more responsibility, bear more stress and be constantly trying to increase their earnings to fulfill the never ending demands of the wife. We need to calculate the price of the reduced life span of men.

21. Any type of income plan has a premium to be paid one time or over the years. The wife doesn’t pay any such premium to get one time Alimony or lifetime payment of maintenance.

All these above mentioned services are being enjoyed for free by the wife from ages without having so far been made to pay for and therefore having no appreciation for the same.

The cost of financing all this for an average middle class family is substantial and cannot be ignored at all, plus the unpaid manual work, emotional support provided by the men can’t be overlooked and difficult to quantify. Let’s first substantiate those before we decide whether the husband has to pay maintenance/alimony or to actually receive it.

Men’s Contribution in Socal, Political, National and International Circles

Whether it be infrastructure or transport or communication development, it all comes at an invisible cost. Every year thousands of men lose their lives in coal mines, railways, sewers, satellite towers and other dangerous workplaces. According to the latest report from the Ministry of Human Resource Development, more boys than girls drop out of school at primary level and this destroys life opportunities while limiting their progress. From the victims of child trafficking, to child labor to exploitation as cheap manual labor, there is something in our collective consciousness that it seems to be convenient for legislators and policy makers to ignore the problems of boys and men. There is an unfortunate tendency of using boys and men and disposing them away.

Friends, 65% of deaths related to covid in India were male. Because, they go out in opposite and dangerous environments and therefore they are more at risk than women. According to a 2019 report released by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), 80% of deaths in accidents in India are men. Of those who commit suicide, 97,000 (70%) are men. Of these, 32.4% of men have ended their precious lives due to family reasons and 17% due to illness. Prostate cancer is the second most common cause of cancer and the sixth leading cause of death from cancer in men worldwide. In September 2019, on the occasion of Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR) released statistics on the incidence of prostate cancer in India. According to the report, the incidence rate of prostate cancer is 9-10 / 100000 population. According to a study, the number of potential prostate cancer patients across India will be 26,120, 28,079 and 30,185 between 2010, 2015 and 2020 respectively. Despite the prevalence of many such health problems in men, lack of awareness, lack of screening programs, lack of clinical facilities, tendency to put family needs in front of their health, these are the reasons why very few Men really come forward with their health problems. Various studies conducted by organizations advocating for men’s human rights on Indian law show that the misuse of feminist laws has increased significantly in the last few years. Laws related to dowry, domestic violence, sexual harassment, rape, maintenance, divorce, custody of children, these are not fair and anti-male and many men are committing suicide out of frustration. Despite this, study centers for research and discussion on male issues from the government, administration, universities and research institutes of our country are still missing.

In the midst of such depressing darkness for men around the world, Vaastav Foundation urges the legislators and policy makers to initiate a project for “Recognizing and Quantifying Matrimonial Monetary, Unpaid Labor and Non-Monetary Contributions of #MenToo”. This shall not only provide a legitimate ground for positive debate and discussion on men’s contribution but also encourage men to teach their children and show the world and the society the values, character and responsibilities of their lives. Only when all men and women move forward with these values and examples can we build a just and secure society in which all have equal opportunities for prosperity. The best time to kick start the project would be International Women’s Day which is falling on Monday, 8th March 2021 under the theme – Let’s Talk About The Positive Role Of Men, On International Women’s Day And Every Day.

Annexure

Table 3: List of monetary and non monetary contributions made by participants other than those mentioned above.

1. Taking care of parents, helping relatives during their need, emergency travel for relative’s related work.
2. Providing financial help needed by in laws
3. Done work whatever and whenever needed.
4. Take care of inlaws
5.   Father/Husband being there as a ROCK when needed Emotions has NO Value its Priceless
6. Cleaning house, Making tea
7. Our relatives her kiths kins expenditures
8. All things said above is done by me
9. Each and every work in the house is contributed by me.
10.Shopping daily items and other outside work
11.I also did cooking food Sometimes
12.As we are separated every single thing is done by me as a husband.
13.Many other contribution
14.Cleaning,dusting, washing etc
15.Do all the work at home
16.Driving for wife, Security Guard for wife, On demand plumber, electrician and carpenter for wife, on demand household cleaner for wife, on demand ATM
17.Picnic, wondering, messaging to wife etc
18.Security
19.Take care of all family members
20.Help to wife’s relatives
21.Room Cleaning, washing, utensil cleaning
22.I took care of everything where money is involved.
23.Computer work. Bank work etc
24. Teaching my kids at home, sitting with them and doing their homework, reading to them at bedtime (although, over time my wife discouraged these as she felt this was forming a closed bond between me and my kids).
25. Getting vehicles serviced.
26. Attending all of my kids school events, PTMs.
27. Taking kids for holidays/camps.
28. Being the default driver for the family.
29. Of course, all of these contributions were done by myself with no help. Whereas all other tasks supposedly under my wife’s duties, were done by hired housemaids. So, while I may not have done cooking & cleaning, it wasn’t done by my wife either
– the maid (paid by me) did it.
30.Making kids get up and get ready in morning
31.Buying a vehicle for wife
32.Maintenance of electric house-hold items
33.Taking care of pet and all his accessories including food
34.Teaching children, house cleaning, cleaning bikes, small repairs, getting groceries etc.
35.Gardening
36.Playing with children, taking care of both wife and child. Managing work and family mental load.
37.Sometimes taking leave from office to take care of my son.
38.Dropping at her office
39.Supporting parents /sister/brother of wife, gifts/surprizes of in laws birthdays, anniversary, etc
40.Monthly expenditure planning
41. Droppings & collect from school & private tution
42. Arrange Music & fine arts teacher
43.Except cooking…everything else
44.Driving to malls , movie, family, long road trips, medical emergency, watch carefully strangers, booking and taking annual trips vacation for family
45.Washing clothes, bedding, water fill, etc
46.Child school homeworks
47.Taking care of mental health of family during lockdown
48.Encouraging Wife for further education, Teaching kid
49.Taking care of grandmother/taking her to hospital
50.Taking responsibility of wife and family, taking responsibility of wife’s education, cleaning house, cleaning clothes, go to market, buying vegetables, buying clothes, pay bills, pay maintenance to wife n many more
51.Floor cleaning
52.परू ा काम करते है।
53.Insurance premiums
54.Taking care of the child even when he was a toddler. Right from changing his diapers to washing his clothes.
55.I do a lot of household works for family
56.Taking care of sick parents
57.Everything in a house
58.Used to take her for shopping 3-4times a week
59.Cleaning house, fulfill demand of wife,obey the wife order
60.Tuition for children
61.Household works cleaning
62.Taking care of there friends too
63.Whenever wife is not feeling well, all the chores are to be done by me only
64.I do what she say
65.Making the relationship work was entirely my job.
66.12 hours per day for an office job. While my wife is a housewife.
67.Daily pick and drop to my wife from her working organization
68.Constantly shower love on them by suppressing self
69. Child healthcare
70. Wife’s healthcare
71. Pick up and drop child from school
72. Feed the child daily
73. Bathe child
74. Put child to sleep
75. I okay with the child and take him to gardens
76. Coordinate with household maids to get work done
77. Clean the house
78. Clean the kitchen
79. Sanitise kids toys and so on
80.Bringing medicines
81.Car driving, buying vegetables and groceries
82.Managing relatives of both family with my own expenses
83.Purchase of water bottles
84.Expenses
85. Driving
86. Petrol expenses
87. Taking vehicle to service center
88. Used to walk if I am alone but paid for CA if wife is going alone
89.Helped father in-law financially
90. Preparing snacks for wife
91. Taking her to dr.
92. Encouraging her to study
93. Paying for wife’s insurance policies
94. Paying for the wife’s family outing/ food, etc.
95.Contributed in hospitalization charges to mother in law and father in law.
96.Shop, Water, cleaning. Etc
97.Always husband has to look after the family if wife doesn’t contribute men is left with no choice because men cannot leave the house n run away
98.I try to make happy both parents
99.All family related expenses
100. Many other households work during festivals, some odd jobs which women never do, they just order sitting at home. Other jobs like maintenance of vehicles, repair, etc. despite being highly qualified and well earning they cant maintain themselves.
101. Helping in household work
102. Counseling my wife
103. Picking and drop to wife
104. Caretaker
105. Provided transportation for wife work purpose
106.      Taking the wife’s parents and her other relatives to the doctor for consultation.
107.      Giving my references for job placements to wife’s relatives
108. Cleaning
109.      Anything that is needed in the house.
110.      Last minute errands always.
111. Emotional support to family and pick drop to all location
112.      Hiring and training the maid
113.      Supporting wife’s touristic desires
114.      Shopping by wife
115. Care of in-laws, taking to picnic when they visit
116. Payment for gifts for inlaws at every festival , birthday and anniversary
117.      Traveling,
118.      Sudden Household exp.
119. Washed utensils cooked food
120. Education, food, housing, television,internet, clothes, transport
121. Buying groceries , washing utensils , sweeping, mopping, all government or bank related work registration of birth marriage etc.
122. Driving her to shopping, her relatives, my relatives, sweeping, washing machine
123. Taking wife for interviews
124.      Always paid the bills of outing with wife.
125.      Contributed more money in household expenses.
126.      Cooking was done by my mother and not my wife.
127.      Wife was doing only the washing of utensils and bathing my son.
128.      I used to take my child daily for a walk.
129.      Even the majority of times I used to get him to sleep at night.
130.      I used to wash clothes in the washing machine many times.
131.      I used to bring daily essentials from the shop, filling petrol on my bike.
132.      Only vegetables are bought by my wife and even by my mom.
133.      Many times I used to put diapers on my son and done with his clothes.
134.      ऑल household and everything
135.      Even to feed milk
136.      Bath,clean his etc.
137.      PTA MEETINGS
138.      PARENTS MEETINGS
139.      HOSP
140.      GUEST
141.      HOMEWORK
142.      Each n everything even I wrote अंगाई songs too!
143.      Arranging child needs like hair cut etc,
144.      Preparing for different weathers for shelter like rain, summer.
145.      Planning grocery
146.      Eating out arrangements etc.
147. Clothes wash & fasting, etc.
148. To get smile on wife’s face
149. Life management
150. Taking care of wife’s parents
151. Taking all responsibility for every work on every day.
152.      Dropping child to school
153.      Ensuring child gets extra curricular activities
154.      Garden visit
155.      Attending Parents meetings
156.      Helping child with homework
157.      Taking care of the household when the wife is working till midnight
158.      Getting vegetables/groceries from the market.
159.      Taking family for vacation, doctor etc.
160.      Getting passport/Aadhar Card/ Voter id card done for family.
161. Caring a lot to all family members and trying to make everyone happy.
162. Helped the wife’s family financially whenever they requested.
163. I used to help in household work always
164. Washing Mopping home
165. Took care of family
166. Pick and drop
167. Taking care of mother in laws
168. Caring for all.
169. Taking care of child for religious education
170. Parents medical issue
171.      In context of non monetary contribution- I love my life partner, family and take care of each and every thing that would make her happy.
172.      In context of monetary – I contribute towards everything and don’t partialate between her and other family members.
173.      Giving money to in laws
174.      Helping and assisting wife religious activities
175.      Driving out for shopping along with spouse
176. Washing Mopping everything
177. Taking care of in-laws
178. Mutual support
179. I even had also help my brother in law in his project
180. Taking care of wife
181. All day to day household work done by me also takes care of my daughter.
182. Taking care of my wife
183.      All payments,
184.      Bank loans
185.      Marketing
186.      Purchase of all sorts of life necessities for my family
187.      Counseling when required
188.      Looking after/ providing psychological, emotional, spiritual support and care for my happy family
189.      Trying to imbibe moral/ethical values in my son…etc.
190. Hair cuts, shavings
191. Personally taking & bringing 2 kids from school
192. All the things in daily household life
193. Extra efforts to earn/ Cleaning & maintenance at home
194. Grocery, vegetables, clothes purchase
195.      Household chores
196.      Dropping child to school and bringing back
197.      Taking child to tuition
198.      Bringing vegetables and other groceries
199.      Taking family to park, entertainment, Market
200.      Tending to parents, in-laws.
201.      Picking up and dropping off relatives from airport, rly station, bus station.
202.      Procuring medicines. Tending at hospitals/clinics.
203. Many many things
204. House cleaning, washing clothes
205. Entertainment of Spouse’s relatives
206. Always contributing in the day to day activities
207. Weekend Restaurant
208.      Child and wife care
209.      Medical
210.      House cleaning, cooking, feeding
211.      Wash clothes
212. Taking care of house garden
213.      Giving bath and dressing child for school
214.      Weekend hair wash to my son as we are sikh
215.      She not even ask for water after me coming back from work
216.      Ironing clothes of myself and child and sometimes of wife too
217. Babysitting of my child
218. Even look after the expenses and work contribution in occasions happen in in laws family
219.      Counselling
220.      Paperwork for documents
221.      Chaperoning for medical and other appointments.
222. Providing emotional security to wife and child
223. Car and bike washing, help in growing my wife’s business, etc.
224. Take care of all family members
225. Every bit , mopping, washing clothes and drying, groceries, ironing clothes etc
226. Taking care of in-laws
227. Cleaning bathoom & toilet
228. I always take care of my wife’s daily needs and always support her what she wants from me and spend time with children during the holiday and involved in all activities.
229. Driving, taking to relatives, helping in venture
230. All food, shelter, security, social/ traditional functions etc.
231. Restaurant, parties, fetching and dropping off relatives occasionally, etc
232.      The house ladder to pick things placed up high.
233.      The house weightlifter to pick anything which may or may not be heavy.
234.      The house door keeper opens doors every time.
235.      The house driver, while paying for car EMIs.
236.      Keep my education thoughts at Bay.
237.      Never think about shopping for self.
238.      Never think of taking a holiday for self.
239.      Be the house couch with whom the wife needs to talk.
240.      Be the house punching bag when females have anything to complain about.
241.      Paying for the Television but having no access to time and remote and many many more such monetary, free acts.
242.      Always doing all sorts of domestic work after office hours and on weekends.
243.      Though we had a full time maid also. But still I loved to do it for my family.
244. Petrol, diesal, food from market, gifts for relatives, sister expenses, sometimes sale saali ke bacchon ke kapde ka bhi kharcha uthana padta hai
245. I think all things covered above
246. Always took responsibility for the family as well as wife education and child education.
247. Facing various court cases against wife since last 6 years
248. Listen unproductive talk of wife
249. Taking care of wife’s parents and expenses
250. Trying to complete wife’s immoral demand of running her parents house also
251. Taking wife for shopping and movie and driving the vehicle, giving her foot massage and head massage to avoid expenses because it is chargeable when done in spa
252. Doing all the research for about 18 months before buying house
253. Garden
254. Cooking food, maintenance of household , maintenance of appliances, washing clothes
255. Various services to parents of wife
256. Helping and giving company to spouse
257.      Cleaning dipper of kid
258.      Got vegetables for in laws
259.      Drove car for mother in law
260.      Gave head massage to wife
261.      Cleaned washrooms
262. Child care
263. Hospital visits, volunteering, helping in-laws
264. Helping pre cooking task
265. Helping in cooking, bringing vegetables etc.
266. Repairing broken utensils, toys, reusable things for saving money.
267. Consultation
268. Gardening/watering plants, serving food, buying groceries, remembering when to pay the bills, and paying of the bills, bathing kid, feeding the kid, putting the kid to sleep, reading out stories, teaching morals, songs, slokas to the kid, teaching school subjects to kids, taking kids out, taking family members out, planning out and taking family out during vacations, spending for extended family members, taking care of health requirements for family, spending on entertainment needs of the family
269. 95% work
270. Children care
271. Health issues of inlaws
272. All home maintained by me except for food I was dependent in that also I suffered
273. Well take caring family
274. Man is Family security guard without a salary.
275. Depends on the requirements of the family at particular time.
276. Take care of everything. All burdon is mine.
277. Child education
278. Market, foods puchase, sometime make breakfast , sometimes cleaning house
279. Depend on work load
280. Many small tasks like bathing kids, their homework, tying their shoe lace, taking kids out, taking care of her when she is unwell etc.
281. Drive two wheeler to wife
282. Household maintenance
283. Pick and drop to my son. Form school.
284. Combing of my spouse, dress making
285. Spend on travelling
286. Car washing, chasing lizard’s, taking care of pet,
287. All fulfill house hold me father
288. Taking care of entire family without any expectations
289. Physical or monetary contribution in Hospitalization of parents.
290. Driving wife to shopping,religious places etc
291. Vegetable and grocery purchase
292. Driving kids to school. Cleaning kid. Feeding kid.
293. Cleaning
294. Taking child to the doctor
295. Cooking, purchasing, groceries, playing with kids, grooming & teaching them, fixing appliances etc etc
296. They keep the family happy by solving any kind of financial problems in the family.
297. Taking wife for mandir daily on 2 wheeler. Occasional twice in 1 year taking her to maternal place.
298. Cooking
299. Parents’ work
300. Washing cloths and cleaning house, 24 hour security to family members, making sure my family will get all basic needs that they require.
301.      Would pay for flight tickets of wife for her visits to her parental home.
302.      Buying expensive lifestyle products.
303.      Staying in luxurious hotels during vacations only on wife’s demand.
304. Spending time with wife
305. Always taking responsibility of my family
306.      Purchase groceries/medicines
307.      Morning Cleanups of bedroom
308.      Weekly cleanup of cupboards & fans
309.      Visiting doctors/clinic/hospital/report center, daily routine health check like BP monitoring
310.      Fulfilling sexual needs of the partner
311.      Working as punching bag of the wife
312.      Listening to her nagging all day
313.      Struggle at office in day time and listen to tantrums and mood swings of the wife at home
314.      Provide for the whole family and pay taxes yet no protection and rights for me when I face false cases, any DV, dowry, posh, rape charge can destroy me in a minute yet everyone is brainwashed to think women as weak and to be protected.
315.      Gender bias is one of the biggest lies in our society.
316. Take care of in laws
317.      Pregnancy cost and medical treatment
318.      Child vaccination
319.      Took care of her younger sister and even stayed at her maternal home so that she could attend her job and to save her on travel time
320. Purchase for wife’s parents household items, repair & maintenance, cleanship and material shifting, etc.
321. Taking care of spouse family members
322. Accompany wife for shopping
323. Dropping and picking son to school
324. Tending to Garden, Taking kid to play area
325. Maintaining wife car, Wife’s/child’s medical bills
326.      Dropping kids to school
327.      Getting child vaccine
328.      Taking family members to doctor
329.      Decorating house during festive season
330.      Doing charity, spending for Pooja & havan
331.      Helping wife & inlaws financially & socially
332.      Giving gifts & cash to maintain social relationships
333. Washing clothes, utensils, tuitions etc.
334. Protection & care of wife and her parents her all needs & medical & beauty parlour expenses & her monthly shoppings & demands mostly has been fulfilled as per capacity of husband.
335.      Bringing vegetables and fruits
336.      Gifts for wife and her relatives
337.      Adjusting with her relatives staying at my home
338.      Paying home loans
339. Paying for EMI (personal/home/car loan etc.)
340. All extra expenses
341. Teaching kid, cooking
342.      Taking baby to school
343.      Doing wife’s M.Phil. work
344.      Writing her thesis
345.      Taking care of baby when wife sleeps during daytime
346. Taking care of members
347. It’s complicated, mens are considered as genies. I Hope you will have everything available. But genies cant express their mind states. Every action of mens are meant for family. He rarely live his life.
348. Picking, dropping wife.
349. Outing only at the wish of spouce
350.      Maintain household expenses.
351.      Took care of health
352.      Undertook repairs on house
353. Dropping children to school
354. Medical expenses
355. All household work and repairs and maintenance
356. Use to wake up early to wake up my wife
357. Cleaning of home on the occasion of festivals
358. Give money to wife for purchase cosmetics and beauty parlour and fulfil her family financial facilities like give gift to their family relative for functions and purchase jewellery for wife as her mother says
359. Social working
360. Paid for her Sister’s travel sometimes
361. Maintaining kitchen Garden, Care of Pets, Maintaining house building , Social activities of neighborhood,
362. Food & education of child
363. Petrol, teaching children and wife, making strategy for future, planning a house, engaging children and spouse in planning for future finances etc., Planning vacations, searching for travel options where seats are available, searching for tourism spots
364. Helping in Cooking, Taking care of Kid
365. Treated in laws like my parents but …
366.      Maintaining the relationship with her parents and others, even when they don’t value the relationship.
367.      Monetary contribution done when her parents told.
368. Domestic works

The above report is a preliminary report. More detailed report will be presented soon.

2 Comments

  1. I like this report very much.
    It indicates that #Mens Rts R Human Rts,Mens need independent N partial #GenderNeutralLaw,#पुरुषायोग,#स्वातंत्राबालआयोग्यमंत्रालय,Every year nrly.,100000 #पीडितपुरुषआत्महत्या करतेय,तो #मासुम बच्चे सबसे ज्यादा पीडित है!#जीवांशिक्षणबचपणाईचहाआकांक्षाकनरक बनाया है। इशालीये सब मिळकर #मुख्यराजनेताये को संमाझाना पडेगा की ,बंद करो!बंद करो ! #काणूनिआतंकवाद,#झुठेकेसेस, 307,498A,etc कलम
    लगानेवाले, कोर्ट ड्युटीवाले, उनकी जगह मिलिटरी रखना होगा। कोर्टमें पोलीस ना हो।
    Judgeski अँपॉइंटमेंट ही मिलिटरी हो।
    WorkExperience हो।
    #क्रूरकाळाएकतरफामहिलाकानून रद्द होणारच
    कोईभी जातीपातीधर्मबीबिर्म नहीं देखो!
    कानून कोर्ट सभी पारदर्शक और निष्कलांक हो।
    शादिसे पहला #HINDU-वारसा हक्क, देणाही होगा Affidavit 1st.! पोलीस कलम ना लागावे।पोलीस हमेशा सही काम करे।शिर्फ़ दिनो पक्षकारांको अर्जि लेना।

    शादी करोगे?ना बाबा ना !! क्यों ?आरे #aajkiSweeToo! #kalkiMeToo!

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