A debate in Indian court has been forced by male haters comparing intimacy in marriage to rape by a stranger. The petition of #MaritalRape is trying to create a provision to brand husband as a rapist for having relation with his own wife. There is a 180 degree difference between the physical relation occurring between married couples and two unknown persons. Even a layman will throw out any such claim that says there is no difference between husband wife and strangers..
This anti men lobbying to create misandric law has lead to huge furor among the Indian men and many have decided to go for marriage strike and rightly so because the petition of marital rape just doesn’t make any sense.
The hashtag #MarriageStrike trended for days in January 22 proving even the common Indian people can see this misandric petition as nonsensical. But still, for those who are not able to make out the difference or see the anomaly I have made a comparison between the different stages of relationships as follows.
Difference of status between married man and woman / unmarried man, woman / Unknown man woman
- Rights and responsibilities
A. Unknown man & woman – Have no rights or responsibility towards each other.
B. Unmarried man & woman – Have limited rights and responsibilities towards each other during courtship.
C. Married man & woman – Have very high rights and responsibilities towards each other.
- Right to share common living space
A. Unknown man & woman – Have no rights to share common living space. Having an unknown person sharing your bedroom is highly unexpected.
B. Unmarried man & woman – Have no rights to share common living space.
C. Married man & woman – Have rights to share common living space from day 1.
- Responsibility of giving money for living or living standards.
A. Unknown man & woman – No responsibility of giving money or food for living. Hundreds of people die of hunger, but legally no unknown person can be held responsible for ensuring anyone’s basic needs are met.
B. Unmarried man & woman – No responsibility of taking care of each other. Eg. A girl accepts proposal of the boy. They go to a movie, etc. on day 1. On day 2 the boy asks girl to cook him daily lunch or the girl asks the boy to get her daily lunch both can deny each other.
C. Married man & woman – Insane amount of responsibility to maintain each other.
Eg. An unknown girl and boy get married in arranging a marriage. On day 1 she has right to get maintenance, she has right in the property of the boy. On day 1 the girl can ask for maintenance too and legally enforce it.
Man becomes a life time chattel for wife on day 1 of marriage.
4. Expectation to physical intimacy
A. Unknown man & woman – Cannot have any expectation of physical intimacy rather any attempt to get close is legally punishable ( protection available only to women)
B. Unmarried man & woman – Cannot have any expectations of physical intimacy. A girl proposes a boy, the boy accepts they spend time together, but both can deny each other getting physically intimate or even touching each other’s cheeks.
C. Married man & woman – On day 1 they have conjugal rights on each other. In fact, even without copulation, but by sharing the same bed during sleep their bodies can be touching unknowingly in a position that can be considered absolutely unacceptable even molestation for unknown persons touch. There can be infinite times the married girl and boy touch each other and recording all these events and evaluating each through legal lenses doesn’t make sense when there is a remedy to get divorced or seek protection under existing laws.
- Commitment duration
A. Unknown man & woman – No legal commitment, even for a fraction of second.
B. Unmarried man & woman – No legal commitment, even for a fraction of second by the girl. The commitment of marriage from the boy if copulation is done.
C. Married man & woman – Lifetime and more commitment on day 1. A boy is expected to maintain the wife for life time and even on death the commitments stick like a leech to inherit his assets. It’s like before getting recruited in the army a civilian has different role, but on day 1 of getting in the army, he is expected to be ready to die on command.
6. Entry Barrier
A. Unknown man & woman – Does not apply.
B. Unmarried man & woman – The entry barrier is, to the extent of two people agreeing to get into a relationship.
C. Married man & woman -The entry barrier is very low a couple can claim to be married by just going to religious place or court or a marriage bureau. The strange thing is the divorce requires the judgement of the court, but no formality to enter. It’s like quick sand you just don’t have to make much effort to get into.
7. Exit barrier
A. Unknown man & woman -Does not apply.
B. Unmarried man & woman -When two people enter into a relationship and it does not work the woman has no legal exit barrier. So a woman can exit the relation at any fine day. But the legal barrier for a male to exit the relation is very high and the male in India can be considered and punished as rapist at the choice of the woman.
C. Married man & woman – The exit barrier for women exists in marriage in a sense that she will need to take a divorce decree. The exit barrier for male in marriage is very steep in the sense that he not only has to get a divorce decree, but also has to agree to pay alimony and even agree to a lifetime of slavery in the name of maintenance to wife. For men, it’s like quick sand you have to be really very lucky to be able to get out unharmed.
All these differences lead to only one conclusion that married couples and strangers cannot and should not be viewed by same lens.